Continuous exhaustion of the self: karma … written by the romanian writter Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Continuous exhaustion of the self: karma … written by the romanian writter Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Blog Article
There are many moments of life ... when we feel that karma really ruins our lives.
.... living the same boring experiences... on and on and on.
It all becomes so, so annoying ... that we even hate that we are alive.
But ... still ... we don't meditate.
We don't want it.
And ... somehow ... i trend to believe that we … are afraid of the real truth.
I try to have daily .... all sorts of reflections about the meaning of the ugliness from my own life.
I understand ... it is all karmic to me.
I know that all those experiences are ruining me emotionally.
But ... i don't have the courage to make the correlations between what is happening to me ... and the way i had acted on the stage of life.
No ...
I am not doing it ... believing i am an innocent soul ... totally ignoring my past.
Like ... i am suffering of amnesia.
Of course ... i am same like the others.
I ignore my past ... being surprised of the present moment.
...of all those karmic experiences from today.
So ... i continue feeling the exhaustion of my soul.
Believing ... there is no real cure.
I could analyse all ... more.
... understanding the karmic way in how the Universe is talking to me.
Repeatedly .... whispering me important messages ... which i just ignore.
So ... the whole charade continues.
I almost ... start to believe that i have no chance any more ... of living a normal life.
I continue feeling ... i am tortured by the Universe ... cause i was sent in all sorts of karmic stories.
Maybe ... i need to change my perceptions.
Stop ... complaining.
Stop acting like a kid ... crying and blaming ... anyone and everything ... for the way my life looks like.
I could start ... disconnecting from all.
Smile ... in from of everything is happening ... treating all as illusory and accept that karma has only one real purpose ... to teach me important lessons of life.
But ... i can't do it.
I just can't.
So ... i allow to be tortured again and again ... and again.
... like an idiot.
Instead of meditating ... I prefer to complain ... and ...
Well ... my existence continues ... and karma keeps exhausting my inner self.
And all is happening ... cause i am still suffering of ... spiritual blindness... making absolutely no change for my evolution.
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